


Live - Love - Lily

by Heraclas



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 06:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heraclas/pseuds/Heraclas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Want to make him jealous?" James whispered in my ear. I looked again at Severus. His eyes were still on me. </p>
<p>"Yes," I growled recklessly.</p>
<p> James flipped me around, pulled me up to his body and kissed me before I had the slightest idea of what he was doing.</p>
<p>*** A tale of the life and love of Lily Evans  ***</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live - Love - Lily

_Livid Lily_

I was livid? No. Enflamed? No. Infuriated? No. Incensed, irate, furious? No, no, no! None of these adjectives remotely captured the indescribable rage I was feeling as I stared up at the scarlet hangings of my four poster bed. And as I stared at the hangings longer, noticing every crease, ripple, and wrinkle in the fabric, I realized I was so unbelievably angry because I didn't want to hurt.

_That's comforting_ , I laughed to myself, sarcastically.

What the bloody hell had happened to him? He was now just as bad as everyone; as James, as Sirius, as the rest of the disgusting Slytherins. Putting down other people - _does it really make you feel better?_ Sure as hell doesn't do it for me. I prefer to top everyone in charms, or James in transfiguration, or the ruddy Slytherins in potions - especially Severus.

His name echoed through my head like a broken record player, irritating the living daylights out of me. So much for best friends. So much for not caring that I'm muggleborn. So much for -

The dormitory door creaked opened.

"Lily?" Alice asked, tentatively.

I took a deep breath before responding, reminding myself that I was not mad at Alice. "Yes?"

"He wants to talk to you."

"Tell James to shove a poker up his backside," I replied.

"No, not James," she said. "Snape."

"Oh, in that case, tell him to -"

"I'm not telling that creep anything," Alice interrupted flatly.

I pulled back my hangings and glared at my best friend. She didn't remotely back down. She just raised her eyebrows and fed just as determined of a look back at me. Okay, two strong personalities sometimes don't mix. I took a deep breath again.  _I'm not mad at Alice_ , I reminded myself. And she was right anyway. She'd been telling me for two years that Severus was a different person - that Slytherin had changed him - and she didn't understand how I could still be friends with him. I hated when other people were right.

"Well I'm not going down there," I stated, crossing my arms across my chest.

The door opened again, and Mary walked into the room.

"He's threatening to sleep outside the portrait hole," she announced.

"Hope he brought a pillow," I replied, rolling my eyes, not at her, but at Severus, and falling back on to my bed. He could sometimes be more stubborn than me, and  _that_  was saying something.

"Lily, just because there's no use crying over spilt potion doesn't mean you can just leave it there dirtying up the entrance to our common room," Mary said, knowingly and annoyingly.

I ground my teeth together. I wanted to kick her. But Merlin, she was still bloody right, too. This really was not my night. I sat back up, grumbling, and held out my wand to Alice. "You better hold on to that - angry Lily is not always rational."

Alice took my wand and laughed. "Aw, our Lily is growing up," she joked.

Under normal circumstances I would have cracked a smile. But anger, infuriation, lividity - and hurt - they were suffocating my usual humor. And so, I just trudged to the door.

"Buggers," I complained immaturely, and then I opened the door, and proceeded to the portrait hole.

* * *

Thinking back, I don't actually remember what I said to Severus outside of the common room that night. All I know for certain is that we are no longer friends today. I wouldn't be surprised if, while talking, steam had billowed from my ears or if my eyes had flashed so intensely he was blinded. I was mad and upset, but worst of all,  _so_ disappointed. I defended his character to  _everyone_ in Gryffindor, including the insufferable marauders. And what did I get for it? A figurative slap in the face that's still stinging, a whole month later.

I've now finished up fifth year. It's summer. I'm bored. Petunia's technically still living here, but she has a new boyfriend, Vernon (or should I say Vermin), and honestly, I think I've seen her for a total of four meals since I've been home, all of which, he has also attended. If she doesn't watch out, she's going to soon be Mrs. Dursley and have tubby, spoiled little children, who look just like Vermin - I mean, Vernon. I just hope she never asks me to babysit. Ha. That's a laughable thought.

To appease my boredom, I keep toying with the idea of just camping out in the park, waiting to see if Severus shows up. It really is surprising I haven't come across him at all yet since we've been home. We hung out nearly every day the last four summers, mainly because he never liked to be in his own house. But nonetheless, I've expected to see him. I keep playing the situation out in my head though if I am to see him. I'm sitting on the swings. He approaches me from the alleyway with his usual slouch, we make eye-contact, it's awkward, I stutter, he stutters, and then a handshake, and we're fine! If only it would be that easy to forgive him…

I have to admit, I've completely forgiven him for calling  _me_ a mudblood. Yeah, it wasn't nice, but we all get mad at our friends and say things we don't mean sometimes, right? I just can't seem to forgive him for his general thinking these days, his faith in those horrible monsters Avery and Mulciber, and the fact that there's an actual possibility he may join Voldemort. I mean, seriously, I defended him to all of my friends. Why can't he stand up to those slimeballs and do the same?

"I'm off to meet Tina, Lily! I'll be back in a few hours!" my mom called, disrupting my pointless train of thought.

"Have fun!" I hollered back. Tina was her long-time friend from secondary school. They met probably once a month to catch up on gossip, and could stay gabbing at a table for hours. I'd see her at dinner. I heard the front door shut and her car start in the driveway, and I watched from my bedroom window as she pulled into the street. I followed her car with my eyes as she drove away until it reached the corner, and then my eyes rested on the park and stayed staring at the swings in the distance. My dad was at work, and wouldn't be home for five or so more hours.

Still watching the swings, which were swaying slightly with the wind, I decided I would wander over to the park today. Besides, what else did I have to do? I could write Alice another letter, but she hadn't responded very thoroughly to my first two. She obviously wasn't as bored as me. I grabbed my wand, and tucked it into my jeans and under my shirt, and headed out the front door.

The day was splendid, and instantly confirmed that my escapade outside was a good decision. The sun touched my skin like a warm blanket, but a cool breeze rustled gently through my hair. The neighborhood was quiet; a few kids were laughing down one of the streets nearby, but the park ahead of me was deserted. I slowly approached the swings, looking off in the direction of Severus's neighborhood, which was more disheveled than my own, and wondered what he was doing. I sat down on a swing and five or so minutes ticked by.

Well this was climactic.

"Come on, Severus," I muttered.

I played with the sand below the swings with my sandals, burying my exposed toes, and resurfacing them a few moments later, meanwhile weaving my fingers in and out of the chain-links of the swing. Who was I kidding? If he wanted to talk to me he would seek me out. I mean, he knew where I lived.

"Boo," breathed a voice behind me.

I jumped so much I actually fell out of the swing, landing square in the sand, which resulted in a large amount of uncomfortable pebbles finding their way into my pants.

"Got you," a messy black-haired boy grinned, appearing out of thin air.

"Damn that bloody cloak, Potter. You nearly killed me," I said through gritted teeth, glaring up at him as well as I could.

"It's great to see you too, Evans," James replied, feeding me his perfect half-smile, and holding out a hand to help me to my feet. I ignored it and got up on my own accord.

One of the reasons I despise James Potter so immensely is because I'm so dang-nabbit attracted to him physically. And it drives me crazy because his personality is so insufferably wretched. He creates a constant battle in me - I want him but I hate him. Gar!

"What are you even doing here?" I asked as I attempted to brush the sand off my jeans.

"Just in the neighborhood," James replied, mysteriously.

"You just  _happen_ to be in the muggle neighborhood  _I_  live in, and you just  _happen_  to run into  _me_ ," I scoffed. "Likely."

James shrugged, unperturbed. "Okay, my dad's an Auror, and he was assigned a low-risk mission in the area, so he let me tag along - you know it's what I want to do one day." He ran his fingers lazily through his hair, making me want to run  _my_ fingers through his hair, too. My eyes traveled down James's forehead and to his hazel eyes and he winked.

"See something you like?" James smiled.

"No. Eww," I replied quickly, wrinkling up my nose. "Get a grip, Potter, you know how repulsive I think you are."

"Come on, Evans, give me one date? I can see how bored you are here," James coaxed, nudging my arm with his knuckle. The feel of his hand on my bare skit shot a jolt of - I have no idea what - down my spine like a power surge. I jumped backwards out of his reach.

"Give it up, seriously. I will  _never_  date you," I replied, rolling my eyes.

A crash to our left disturbed both James and me from our conversation. A group of teenagers around our age were sauntering down one of the alleyways in the distance, one cackling obnoxiously as he kicked over a trash bin. At first, I didn't recognize them in their muggle clothes, but as they got closer and I looked longer, I couldn't help but gasp.

It was Avery, Mulciber, and Severus, and a tall blonde male who looked like Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy had already graduated, what on earth was he doing with the current Slytherins? Malfoy bent down and grabbed what looked like a tin soup can from this distance, and held it out to the rest of the boys, who all reached out and grabbed it. Somehow Severus must have sensed me looking at him, because as he placed his hand on the object, his head quickly snapped over in my direction. He was too far away for me to discern his expression, but I knew my expression had to be one of extreme shock and sadness, topped with a snippet of anger. Those losers really were why Severus and I were no longer friends. An aching pain developed in my chest that caused my breath to catch, and I quickly tried to quench it with a swallow. So he had really chosen that path.

"Jerk," I muttered, as I kicked at an innocent rock perched obnoxiously jovially in the sand.

"Want to make him jealous?" James whispered in my ear.

I looked again at Severus. His eyes were still on me. "Yes," I growled, recklessly.

James flipped me around, pulled me up to his body, and kissed me before I had the slightest idea of what he was doing. His lips met mine with an undeniable sense of passion, but as he kissed me, his lips moved with a gentleness that made my heart race zealously. My eyes closed on their own accord, the tips of my fingers tingled, my stomach fluttered with butterflies, I couldn't remember how to breathe -

And then my brain turned on.

I pushed James away from me with all of my might, my heart pounding fiercely. "What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" I yelled, one hand balling instantly into a fist and the other reaching back for my wand.

James looked down at me, smiling in a way I had never seen before. He ran his fingers through his hair again.

"I, uh," he stuttered. Well, at least he seemed about as taken aback as me. He glanced over at the alleyway where the Slytherin's had been, reminding me of why he had kissed me in the first place.

My head quickly turned in the same direction, but there was no one to see. The Slytherins, including Severus, were gone - that tin can had obviously been a portkey. A pit instantly developed in my stomach as I thought of Severus seeing me kiss James just before he left to do something obviously snake-like. Severus hated James -  _hated_   _him_  - even more than I did. If this caused him to do something irrational…

"You prat, Potter! You revolting, depraved, obnoxious-"

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Something beeping on James's wrist interrupted my tirade.

"That's Dad. Gotta go, Evans!" he said, and he threw his invisibility cloak back on and disappeared before I could open my mouth to utter a protest.

I stared angrily at the spot where he had been.

"Potter!" I yelled in frustration, with no hope he'd respond. I slumped back down on to the swing, and kicked sand up with my feet repeatedly. My head was spinning so fast I couldn't even order my thoughts. I closed my eyes, pursed my lips, and took a few deep breaths to analyze the occurrences of the last ten minutes logically.

So coming to the park today had been the worst idea ever. Severus was with those evil Slytherins. And James had - honestly, what in Merlin's name was he doing here? Did I even buy his story? I mean, really, what would an auror be doing in a muggle neighborhood anyway?

And then it clicked. The ministry really was worried that Severus and his cronies were considering joining Voldemort. That's why James's father had been sent here - to spy on him. Besides, we were the only witch or wizards for miles, and I definitely knew I wasn't doing anything worth auror interest.

So the last thing Severus saw before disappearing to wherever to meet Death Eaters, most likely, was me and James -

I suddenly dug my toes down deeper in the sand, my head no longer spinning in a bowl of confusion. My stomach clenched as I realized my anger really wasn't due to Severus at all - I was livid because my heart was still fluttering from the effect of that kiss. James Potter had kissed me, and I had actually enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Your thoughts are definitely appreciated!


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